I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize