Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
