when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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