She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
