ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
