Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize