...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
