Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
