we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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