I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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