I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
