I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
