I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
it's like heaven, but drunker
She bit a glass in half.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
