no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
