You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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