I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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