White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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