the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
