If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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