Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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