Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize