I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
