Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
