I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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