I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
