i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
