How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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