I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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