God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize