you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If that was your dad, he is hot
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
