Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
pray to the hookup gods
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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