it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
