She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
