Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
even my farts smell like vagina
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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