i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
