totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Randomize