I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
