'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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