I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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