I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
