This is not my ceiling
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
