I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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