He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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