Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
