i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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