if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
