i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize