i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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