so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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