I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
