then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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