Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
That accounts for only three of the penises
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
