Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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