Nicole vs. Life
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
