need another drink. this is the easiest way
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
