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• (207): View more from Maine

  I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie

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  your the best winggirl ever

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens

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• (509): View more from Washington

  also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me

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• (707): View more from California

  He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off

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• (207): View more from Maine

  you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you

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• (310): View more from California

  This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails

  (310): View more from California

  I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me

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• (323): View more from California

  she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.

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