You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
