Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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