C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
