You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
